8

from the year 88888888, 8 traveled back in time, in an attempt to stop rappers from taking over pluto. but he traveled back to far, and was forced to travel to pluto's moon and wait. but then a meteor struck. and in a daring escape, Q came out of nowhere into 8's liver and worked his way out to steal 8's small intestine. while doing so, the H1N1 virus showed Q what he was doing was wrong, and showed him that the true path to salvation- is an all-you-can-eat-buffet.

Q

Q lived in a house of straw for half his life. but then a wolf came. the wolf was a bad wolf. it wanted $6.79 for a box of cookies. anyway, Q had the discovered a plant on polaris that cures every disease known to affect caterpillars. but then pirates came and ran over his friend with a train. Q vowed vengence against the pirates, and hired ninjas to help him. the ninjas refused to kill thier parents, but taught him teleportation instead. and so, he teleported in 8's liver.

 Lincoln

Lincoln was originally a cube, but after many eggs taunted him, he went to a dentist. he asked to make him a shepre and turn his children into heartless pirates. later, he was talking to his friend 8 when they hit him with a train. he went back to the dentist, asking to become a sphere again. but the dentist denied his request. but then he offered to hypnotize ninjas to befriend you. later, he beleived there was no hope, and just decided to throw a meteor at pluto.

*For bios of secondary characters such as Dragon, Genie, or George Washington, make them up.