Bob & Boob The Movie
Decoding The Killer Centaur-Dragon In Egypt
Part 1
Decoding The Killer Centaur-Dragon In Egypt
The Pharaoh's Tomb
10 BCE
7:32 PM
Modern-day Egypt
Bob: I'll never do it again sir.
Pharaoh: Silence slave! You have made my lower body that of a lion! I am not a lion!
Bob: But sir, I believe future generations will someday look at it and it will be a tourist attraction and-
Pharaoh: You have dishonored my reputation so you will be humiliated.
Bob: Huh. The punishment is much more harsh then I though.
Pharaoh: Just for that remark, you will never leave this place!
Bob: Aw, !@#$.
Pharaoh: Your punishment is to wear the unsacred cloths of the ancient burnt diarrhea!
Bob: That doesn't seem so bad.
Pharaoh: Fine. We'll just spin the wheel of misfortune.
Bob: Come on! Come on! Death by eating to much pie! Yes! Sweet! Woo hoo!
Pharaoh: Actually that says "Death by beating to much die".
Bob: What does that mean?
Pharaoh: If you rearrange the letters, it says "Yb ot eid hcum hatde gnabeti"
If you rearrange them again it says "Wear the unsacred cloths of the ancient burnt diarrhea".
Bob: No it doesn't.
Pharaoh: Silence! The wheel has spoken!
Bob: Wheel's can't talk.
Wheel: Yes. Hahaha. That's what I want you to think. Then when you aren't looking I'm gonna come in for the kill!
Boob: I told you you shouldn't have considered making a future tourist attraction.
Bob: Did you just talk normal.
Boob: Well, technically my father wasn't born yet so I didn't inherit the speech disease.
Bob: Well it's not my fault he treats Jews like crap.
Boob: That's beside the point because we're American.
Bob: But technically America wasn't discovered yet.
Boob: Everyone knows that America being discovered in the 1400s is a load of Bull crap. I mean do you expect me to believe that the world actually used to be one big continent? Then they just drifted apart? If that was true, then why can't we just see them from across the lake if it's only been 10 years of Earth's history.
Bob: Technically it's the 10th year of Earth's recorded history.
Boob: And I'm tired of all this technical bull crap. We should get a hero to save us future Americans!
Moses: I am here to save you fellow Jews!
Bob: Aw, jeez. I hate songs in a movie like this. They're always so gay. GET OFF THE STAGE!
Moses: How 'bout you shut the crap up you fat loser and let me sing my gay song already!
Bob: How 'bout you go to Easter Island?
Moses: Ok
Aliens: I think we should put them here.
Other Alien: Fine.
Moses: Ow! You dropped this heavy stone person on me!
Boob: You retard! He was going to free us!
Bob: It's not my fault I don't care about famous saviors who would completely change the future if they die!
Boob: I just hope we do something that prevents Hitler from rising to power.
Bob: Well then we'll just have to do it ourselves.
Some Guy: You can count me out. I don't want the pharaoh to kill me.
Bob: We didn't plan on you helping us.
Some Guy: Wait! Can I join you? Pretty please?
Bob: You already said you want to live now get out of my way!
Some Guy: You'll regret this.
Baby Boob: Can I join you daddy?
Boob: I'm sorry son but you weren't born yet. You have to leave.
Baby Boob: Aw.
Boob: It's not my decision to not give birth to you yet. Err, you know what I mean right?
Baby Boob: I understand.
Bob: Just shut up already and let's go!
Pharaoh: Holy !@#$ Someone killed my firstborn son!
Boob: Huh. That isn't supposed to happen until later. At least now he should let us free.
Pharaoh: But because of Bob's arrogance, you shan't be freed.
Bob: Is that even a word? Of?